This is not an essay ,but a paragraph. There is no introduction,paragraphs,conclusion, thesis statement. Your grammar and vocabulary is also weak.
P.S : You can't start sentences with conjunctions.
Essay Info: Word Count 152 added
4 years ago viewed 1352 times Points: Coherence: 1/5 Vocabulary: 2/5 Grammer: 1/5 Unity: 1/5 Average Point: 2/5